the rape of the Mind

I had a break last Saturday.

My boss -slash-mentor Pocholo Gonzales had a talk at the Claret School of Quezon City for the HR Learning EB 5, a part of a series of events that unite Human Resources Officers and give them the chance to learn different things together through talks. On that day, he was asked to talk about “Goal Setting” since the event’s theme was “Setting Goals for 2012.” And the thing was, the night before the talk, we were chatting about his presentation and he told me that he would give me a chance to speak in front as well. He told me what to talk about so I could prepare. Of course I was a bit nervous.

Although I had a lot of experience in public speaking, I thought it was really something different. Though I already experienced delivering the valedictory in elementary and high school in front of hundreds of people including some important people in our city, joining and winning in extemporaneous speeches, campaigning for college student council elections, and even giving a talk to a class about voice acting; I still felt some kind of thrill because it would be a lot different from them.

When the time for the talk came, I realized that the audience was not composed of students but of HR officers. I was not really aware of what the event exactly was until we got there and yes, I was shocked. What I was expecting were students who were usually the audience of my boss since he usually talks about voice acting, marketing, and youth development.

But eventually, it went fine. I was called in front and I spoke in front of the professionals and it felt good because they listened to me. Plus, it was really such a pleasure seeing them responding positively and I knew right at that moment that they were convinced. My moment was not long, though. But it was certainly a great chance. It made me realize that public speaking, most especially when done with substance, is indeed fun. It also made me more interested in becoming a motivational speaker in the near future.

After the talk, Sir Choy told me that I did a good job. Yahoo! That really meant a lot since it came from my mentor, the one and only VoiceMaster in the country. And like what I mentioned earlier, because of those people who believed in me and in what I said there in front—those people who were convinced and never really cared about my age. Now thinking of all these, I can really say that I really want to be a speaker. I will also be a speaker.  

*Title is inspired by the idea on how to write goals properly. It was actually the content of my talk. To know more about this, click HERE.

Her youngest sister woke up earlier than usual that morning. Unusual as it really was, the fact piqued her curiosity that she also made an effort to follow her downstairs, to the living room where the teenager immediately picked up the broom and the dust pan and began to sweep the floor. There might be something special for the day, she thought to herself. Her youngest sister, who has always been reputable as the senorita in the house, was now being punctual, even with the absence of orders from the highest authority at home who was their mother. After sweeping the floor, she immediately had breakfast and right after finishing it, she went in front of the television set.

It was the premiere of Sailor Moon, she realized.

While the opening theme was playing, her youngest sister was so delightful. Finally, she was able to meet those characters whom she just saw printed on her oldest sister’s old school bag. The girl with long blonde pig tailed hair, the black cat with crescent moon on its forehead, and the other girls with hairs of different colors and were dressed like sailors—characters she knew only through the older people’s stories whenever they talked about their nostalgic childhood.

While in her own mind, flashback began.

***

She was in kindergarten then while her cousin, whom she grew up with, was in third grade. Accustomed to taking a nap in noontime, they would always do their best to fall asleep so in the late afternoon they would be permitted by their grand mother to turn the television on and watch their favorite show. And because they were so into the anime, they even imitated them—their poses, their lines—as they convinced themselves that they would also undergo some transformation and that soon they would also be able to fight bad people and save the world.

The madness continued. In the afternoon, most especially on weekends when there were no classes, they would do some role-playing where they imitated scenes from the animation series. Sometimes, they would even give voices to their paper doll collection which consisted of the full cast of characters.

The two of them enjoyed the world they were able to build. In fact, even if they already moved to another place and was not able to save their paper doll collection which were left in their old house in Paranaque, they were still able to sustain this world which lasted until a new generation of animes was born.

And eventually, they both got tired of them as they grew older.

***

Years have already passed, indeed. She was now about to finish her college degree while her cousin was already in another country, busy with her own family.

The Sailor Moon episode began.

“I can still remember that and that,” she proudly told her sister as she pointed her index finger to the TV screen. “Oh, it’s her… wow, she’s…”

“Shhhhhhhh… No spoiler please!” Her sister shouted.

Six months na tayo!

Parang kailan lang, kakikilala pa lang natin.

Pinapunta ako ni Sir Choy sa office para isangkot sa isang project. Maaga pa lang naroon na ako at hindi nagtagal, nagdatingan na rin kayo. Nung una pa nga akala niyo intern din ako pero sinabi ko rin naman na writer ako ni Sir. tinanong niyo ng mga kasama niyo kung saan ako nag-aaral. Sabi ko, sa UP Diliman. Napa-wow naman kayo habang ako, okay, keber. Ang sama ko pa nga kasi nung tinanong kita kung saan ka nag-aaral at sumagot ka, ang sabi ko, “sounds familiar pero saan yun?”

Hindi nagtagal, naging seryoso na ang lahat sa project. Naging matindi ang recording para sa mga audio books na ginagawa habang abala ako parati sa pagbabantay (pagcocorrect ng pronunciation, pagpapaulit kung may nalaktawan, etc.) habang kayo namang mga intern, abala sa pag-eedit ng recordings (pag-aalis ng bad cuts, pag-nonormalize ng volume, at paglilinis ng audio). Pero habang sumiseryoso ang trabaho, naging close naman ako sa inyong mga intern.

Naaalala ko pa nga, pag break time, lumalabas ako ng office para tingnan yung magandang view ng Makati sa labas at madalas kitang maabutan na nandoon din hanggang sa di natin namamalayan, nag-uusap na tayo tungkol sa panitikan. Poetry at erotica pa nga yung mga una nating napag-usapan. Natuwa talaga ako nung nalaman ko na pareho tayo in interes kahit pa nung sinabi mong nagsusulat ka rin ng mga tula, sinagot kita ng “oh, really?” At aaminin ko, dahil doon, narealize ko, aha! Pwede ka! Bukod kasi sa nagkakasundo tayo, natuwa rin ako sa geeky look mo. Oo na, plus factor na nakasalamin ka. Tapos, lalo pa akong natuwa kasi mahilig ka ring magkape. Kahit malakas ang ulan, sinasamahan mo ako sa supermarket para bumili ng kape. Ikaw rin ang kasabay ko magkape pag madaling araw.

Hindi ko rin malilimutan yung moment na humirit ka ng sample. Narinig mo pala kasi nung napakanta ako sa cr sa sobrang stress at sabi mo, magaling ako. Super flattered ako kaya kahit na may sipon ako at nahihirapan, kinantahan kita. Parang tanga pa nga kasi yung kanta ay yung “Love Moves in Mysterious Ways” ni Nina. Parang nagbadya na ewan.

Yun nga lang, medyo nagkaroon ng delay ang love story natin. Bigla kasi akong nakipaglandian sa iba…

Buti na lang hindi yun nagwork. Kasi nga, wala naman talagang “spark.” Buti na lang, kahit na anong nangyari, close pa rin tayo. Simula nga nung unang araw na nagtext ka sa akin, hindi mo na ako tinantanan. Hanggang sa feeling ko ikaw na lang yung reason kung bakit may cellphone ako. At kahit na tapos na ang internship mo at ang layo ng bahay mo, bumabalik ka pa rin sa office kasi sabi mo, “gusto mo matuto pa” yun pala iba na ang inaaral mo at ng puso mo.

Hanggang sa yun na nga, naging bahagi na na ng mundo ko. Sanay na akong nandyan ka. At ikaw rin. Ang clingy mo na sa akin, hahaha. Pero ang totoo, may naaamoy na talaga akong something that time. Ayoko lang pangunahan kasi baka mamaya epic fail na naman. Pero eventually, nagkaaminan din.

Hanggang sa yun na nga. Ligawan. Hindi rin naman nagtagal kasi… kasi ganoon eh. Hindi ko na rin pinatagal eh. Fall na fall na ako, ano ba? Ano pa bang kailangang hintayin?

At ngayon, ito na. Six months, like seriously.

Alam ko marami pang mangyayari at gaya nga ng sabi nila, “we can never can tell, lolz.” Pero kahit ganoon, keber. Masaya ako sa’yo. Super. At nagpapasalamat ako kasi, dumating ka sa buhay ko.

Tama na. Sobrang keso na nito. Next time na yung iba tutal sure naman akong marami pa tayong icecelebrate together (and that’s conviction!).

HAPPY MONTHSARY, MHEL. I LOVE YOU. :)

For the nth time around, I am talking about the Taytay Accident which occurred last Thursday, January 12, 2012.

Of course, it is inevitable for many people most especially the ones from Rizal not to get over the accident easily. Even I am expecting that it will remain as one of the most favorite topics of the people for the next few days. But what happened a just tonight was really weird and irritating.

I was already on my way home. From Makati, I took an FX and got off in Tikling where I immediately got a jeepney to Antipolo. The jeepney passed by exactly in front of the Police Outpost which was severely damaged after the dump truck hit it. In fact, I was able to see the wall of the substation being repaired and the truck was still there in the area. At that moment, a woman who was near the driver and who was carrying a small boy with her began talking about the accident, describing to her son (who was less than five, I guess) what happened. She even discussed where the truck was coming from and how it made its way to the police outpost in full detail. The boy, who seemed smart, even asked some follow-up questions as if he really did understand everything. He even did some hand gestures as he explained to his mom how he understood things. Then, the woman started blaming people. She mentioned DPWH and other agencies and people whose names I can no longer remember. And suddenly, a man from almost the other end of the jeepney disagreed to what she said. In fact, he even tried to correct the description the woman made earlier. But the woman did not surrender. She insisted that what she said was perfectly right and defended her suggestions which came along with the blames she just threw. Until eventually, the two argued. The man also told her not to blame anyone but instead, consider putting a limit to the weight of the things the trucks carry. Then continued arguing with their voices really loud and while they were like that, the child was also making his scene, trying to insert himself in their debate and his voice was also loud.

When we reached Palmera 3, The woman told the driver that they were getting off and they did so—with the man. It was also when I completely realized that they were one family.

I think there was nothing wrong with those people being so opinionated but I really found it weird for them behaving like that—debating in public and not even thinking of the amount of stress they were giving the people around them. Plus, it also made me realize how accidents and other happenings could make people think that they know a lot—enough for them to be aggressive—that even have the guts to argue with one another and insist that what they know is the right thing.

I just laugh.

It is funny when people try to consume all your patience and agitate you, expecting that you’re going to stoop to their level but you remain so calm, holding on to that “kill him with kindness” thing.

It reminds me of the time when I learned that my ex was cheating on me. I found out who the other girl was and even discovered that the guy was a real two-timer. Soon, I began receiving text messages from a stranger who claimed to be a friend of the other girl. He was a guy and he was accusing me of things I was not guilty of. Obviously, he was just trying to provoke me thinking that I would be offended and that I would soon fight back. Good thing, I knew right at that moment that the guy was just an asshole who was trying to pull someone down to his level so even if he was making a career out of trying to infuriate me, I did not bother. Instead, I just let him say what he wanted to until eventually, he got tired.

There is no such thing as last trip

When the driver of the train is Him

So be not worried; with you, try to keep

Trust so wide and smooth, without seam.

Mina Deocareza (Roemina Gesite Deocareza) is the Writer and Communications Manager of CreatiVoices Productions. She also works as a Freelance Academic Tutor, teaching predominantly but not limited to Mathematics and English (Language and Reading/Literature). Currently, she is a senior student at the University of the Philippines Diliman taking up BA Creative Writing and serves as a Councilor at the UP College of Arts and Letters Student Council.

She was born on August 31, 1991 to her parents Myrna Gesite and Ruel Deocareza who were both detectives. When she was three, her parents got separated so she had to live with her grand parents in Paranaque since her parents both had their second families and had additional two children each.

Despite this condition, Mina remained strong. In fact, she even managed to become a consistent honor student as an Elementary student in San Isidro Elementary School. She was first honor from grade one to five and graduated Valedictorian in grade six. Apart from these, she also showed her excellence in other fields like arts and campus journalism. She danced, drew, and wrote for the school paper. She even joined and won in several competitions of different levels including press conferences. In grade six, she was also the Editor in Chief of The Horizon, The Official English Publication of San Isidro Elementary School.

In high school, she continued writing. She became a part of Ang Banyuhay, the Official Filipino Publication of San Isidro National High School in which she became the Editor in Chief when she was in Third and Fourth Year. She also joined and conquered several writing contests. Like in Elementary, she was also a consistent honor student in high school. She was first honor from First to Third Year and Valedictorian in Fourth Year, Including other awards such as Journalist of the Year and the best in different subject areas.

She Began college as a BA Communication student in UP Baguio, with the major in Journalism and minor in Broadcast Communication. However, after a year of study in the Cordillera, she realized that she wanted something different so she transferred to UP Diliman and applied for Ba Creative Writing in which she qualified.

In 2009, she began working as a Part-Time Academic Tutor at High Achievers Tutorial and Review Center. In the same year, she also tried working for Visaya Knowledge Power Outsourcing. However, since class schedule and BPO work were really conflicting, she had to choose her studies and instead, just worked as a Freelance Academic Tutor of the children of their family friend.

In March 2011, she was invited by the VoiceMaster, Pocholo Gonzales to write for him until eventually, she became the official writer of his company, CreatiVoices Productions. 

Mina Deocareza is on Facebook. She also writes regularly for her own blog, Mina sees the World and the rape of the Mind. Meanwhile, she keeps a poetry gallery on DeviantART and hoards her old writing on Blogspot.